


Hardened Hearts

by featheredrook



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: F/M, Modern Assassins, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7465914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/featheredrook/pseuds/featheredrook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Among the many events leading to and after Desmond's death, Rebecca and Shaun take time to reflect on the life they live, the friends they've lost, and what the Creed truly stands for. Though reflection turns to regret the minute the two remaining members set out to find lost information on Subject 17.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hardened Hearts

Normality.  
The term seemed foreign, the very letters almost shattered in their opposite meaning to laugh in Shaun's face as he downed another glass of whisky, the smell burning his eyes along with his throat and thought capacity.  
This wasn't right.  
This was fair.  
Desmond had been dead for months, in a time lapse that almost felt like years, and yet here the ginger sat blubbering over his alcohol and reflecting when his anxiety and personal love couldn't really afford to.  
"You could have stopped the man, Hastings. Told him he was being a bloody fucking lunatic and called it a day! But no.. You had to be a fucking coward!" Shaun muttered bitterly until he reached the end of his self-chastisement, taking the shot glass in his hand and chucking it at the wall with all of his flimsy strength, a choked sob escaping his lips before he curled into a ball again, his palms cocooning his face to try and conceal his tears like his friend was still watching- like he might laugh at his expense.  
"I.. I'm sorry.. alright?" The historian stated hoarsely, his bloodshot eyes falling to the bed across from himself where Desmond used to lay, and his vision shifted in and out of focus as he tried to see past the searing tears that trickled down his flushed cheeks in remorse.  
"I'm sorry I didn't stop you.. I'm sorry I called you all those things.. I'm sorry we didn't do anything more than bicker and babble stupid things at each other.."  
He was talking to thin air, and yet it seemed to take some of the impossible weight off of Shaun's aching chest, slight relief spreading over his conscious under the thought that maybe where ever Desmond was, he might actually hear the apologies and drunk regrets.  
"You saved us all.. The bloody hero all the way until the end.."  
His words hung in the air as Shaun searched for the proper phrases, his mind reeling through their little escapades together in an almost movie like sequence, the warmth of his friend's voice still etched into the Assassin's ears like a tattoo one can never remove.  
"If you can hear me at all.. I want you to know that I'll keep her safe. I'll keep the only good thing left in this entire fucking mess cared for and happy, healthy, and secure.. Rebecca is all I have left Desmond.. She's literally all I have."  
Shaun was rambling, this much he was aware of, the words spilling off his tongue like the way someone rambles before asking someone out on a date for the first time, or the way a performance is botched the first time around. The world around himself felt numb with the thought of loss, and the name of that corgi sure didn't help a smidgen, the cold glass of the whisky bottle in the Englishman's palm a hollow reminder of why he was secluded in his empty room in the first place.  
He almost hoped she was listening to him mumble like a madman, so that maybe Rebecca would come in and wrap her arms around his heavy shoulders and tell him that for once in this crazy life that everything was going to be alright, that their lives weren't balancing on a tightrope act performed in front of a merry band of Templar devils. Shaun needed her, but the wrench in his gut gave him no admittance to seek her aid, his shame boiling over into self loathing and the taste of bile in the back of the historian's throat.  
"Rebecca is.. the best."  
Shaun couldn't think of any more words, and he only hoped the ghost of his friend would understand what he meant in his lack of word formation, the alcohol in his blood making the world twist and sway with nauseating consistency.  
Suddenly Shaun felt his stomach kick itself, and he clapped a hand over his dry mouth, buckling over in front of the nearest container- anything to catch the wretched projectile inching its way up his throat- and threw up the contents of his stomach into the trash bin, all whisky and what little he could handle for lunch now lost to the ancients.  
"F-fucking hell.." He wheezed out, a knock on the door making the Englishman look up quickly with almost eager eyes, his chest growing a bit warmer at the thought of it maybe being Becs on the other side of the door.  
"Shaun? Hey it's Rebecca.. You've been in there a while-"  
Shaun was already at the door, even in an only half comprehensible mindset his body ached to see her or be around her, and fumbled with the doorknob before opening it in a rush, his tired eyes resting on the woman before himself before a ripple of shame rocked his already turbulent pool of a mind palace, the Animus tech looking up at her exhausted friend in worry.  
"Shaun.. Are you-"  
"I'm sorry." The historian interjected, his cheeks now red with more than just the buzz of hard liquor, and he began to feels tears threatening at the tight skin around his eyes from dried tears previous, Rebecca just reaching up to reassuringly squeeze Shaun's shoulder in his bewildered state, and the Englishman felt relief tingle over his arm at the silent touch, the air around them tense in the remorse that seemed never spoken.  
"Don't be.. We all deal with shit in different ways."  
Even if Rebecca was more or less resilient in her laid back nature most of the time, her mature side always chose key times to show its truest colors when needed, the words said quietly in between the two standing close to one another now reverberating in their short distance.  
Shaun felt her arms wrap around his shoulders, and he felt almost like a child in the embrace, Becs placing her forehead on his shoulder and beginning to sob silently, guilt starting to creep its way up his spine as the historian returned the hug, his amber eyes closing as the reality of the world finally crashed down in all of its strength upon them both.  
"I miss them so much.." She mumbled against Shaun's shirt, the usual grey sweater now staining in tears that pattered down like rain, the Englishman feeling a ball form in his throat that hurt in tightness, his hands hugging Bec's back tighter as she hiccuped more.  
Shaun wasn't the only one suffering, and he had been selfish to think he was the only one feeling remorse for all that had happened.  
"Me too, Becs.. Me too.."  
****************  
Shaun had never taken it upon himself to be the killing sort of Assassin. He was the one to get information, the man to explain history, connect the dots when no one else could, or even add his two cents when it came to little matters in historical debate, but never had it occurred to him to kill someone with more than words and being the better person.  
With their line of work, one would think that anyone even affiliated with the Assassins was a person totally fine with murdering for a living, but in this day in age if someone dies, the killer is tracked, found, and given likely the same fate if not worse. Though among many updates to the Brotherhood over centuries, one could now take the oath of the Assassins and still not shed a drop of blood.  
At this point though, that sweet and almost serene option was now fading into a glimpse of the past when things were easier, if that could even be said.  
"I don't want to kill anyone." The historian stated as Rebecca searched through her bag for something- anything- for Shaun to use to defend himself with.  
"Well, Shaun 'Danger' Hastings," Her tone was sarcastic to a fault, Becs' playful smirk making the colors of her eyes brighten even just slightly, and Shaun let out a "pshhh" before looking away in embarrassment. "Anything can be used to kill anyone, but if you really want to be a pansy about it-"  
"Hey!"  
A snicker erupted from the Animus technician, and Shaun felt all arguments slip away into a relaxed chuckle, his lips parted to laugh quietly so Bishop didn't get any ideas.  
"Here, newest tech I could scrounge up!" Rebecca exclaimed, pulling out a taser-like gauntlet from her bag, the historian perking his eyebrows in interest.  
"This baby is a taser, and can shock the crap out of anything it touches. Does that suit your taste, Mr.Danger?"  
"You're never letting me live that down are you?"  
"Nope!"  
"Ugh.."  
Nonetheless, Shaun began clipping the pieces of the less lethal hidden blade to his arm in a systematic silence, Becs watching with curiosity as her friend seemed to have already known how to make the entire tech function.  
"I didn't know you knew tech.." She said with a trail of words, her cheeks tingling a bit in a way she only experienced when someone else shared knowledge on the way wires connected- which was a very rare few.  
"After being around you for some many years, I picked up on some tricks."  
"Yeah? Like what?"  
"Like this." Shaun replied smoothly, moving his wrist a bit forward and the electrical current on the taser sparked to life, the sound creating a small crackle that made Rebecca grin in anticipation.  
A blip on the resting laptop on the desk nearest the coffee pot made both of them shift their attention, the familiar face of Bishop formulating as pixels readjusted, and the two hurriedly stepped over, wondering what the random appearance was for, the late day sun setting in the sky above them and through the windows.  
"Bishop, what's wrong? We weren't expecting a call." Shaun questioned, his eyebrows creasing in the familiar anxiety of the unknown, Rebecca already starting to double check her gear and tech in case they went out tonight.  
"Well I wasn't either." The Initiates leader stated, starting to type away on the keyboard furiously. "But a new lead on a matters with Subject 17 came up, and I thought you might want to investigate."  
"Wait whoa whoa- you mean Desmond?"  
"Not Desmond himself, but someone who could be related to him."  
"Well, do you mean William?"  
"Not quite."  
"Well then what do you bloody mean?"  
The air was now tense in the silence that Bishop created among them, and Becs stared forward at the woman across the screen trying to read her face for signs as to what she meant, Shaun tensing and releasing his hand in anxiety.  
"Well, there's speculation that Desmond may have had a son."  
It was like a smack in the mouth with the taser he was now wearing on his wrist, and the historian felt words rush to his mouth, but falter when air was given to them, Rebecca taking a moment to just breathe.  
"Just stay calm you two. I figured you'd want to be the first to know. Now I've tracked Desmond's potential son to coordinates in New York City. Among this case there is also Initiates that need your help in getting pulled out of rifts in Abstergo's security, so I figured it was a double kind of mission. Are you two up for it?"  
Shaun let the thoughts run their course through his mind, the way it felt almost like a betrayal Desmond never told them a thing, or the change in scenery again that might throw them off. But if one thing was for sure, even if he knew nothing about Bishop, he wanted to at least save Desmond's child from Abstergo where they would use him just as they had with his friend.  
"We'll do it then."  
"Alright! Here is the directions to the Abstergo office, and I'll see what I can do about rides. Bishop out."  
The call dropped, and Rebecca let out a tired sigh, running a hand over her face to try and bring reality back where it should be.  
After a few moments she shook her head and groaned, standing up from her seat before kicking the ground a bit.  
"Son of a bitch."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I write more soon!


End file.
